Thursday, March 4, 2010

iPhone: A Story

My iPhone died last night at about 9pm.  And I really mean that.  It is non-responsive to my fingerly love...

iPhone: A Story...

There once was a young Gentleman who decided to purchase an iphone way back in February of 2008.  He loved his iPhone, but hated the service, for he lived in one of the only black holes AT&T had in the Minneapolis area.  So this gentleman decided to jailbreak his beloved iPhone.  It took a while, and he didn't succeed on the first try, but eventually there was success.  His iPhone would work with his Tmobile account, he could bond with his iPhone and make changes to it and add apps.  He would become the most popular at the bar; any question could be answered, as long as the young Gentleman brought is iPhone with him.  It was pure love.

After a while, the young Gentleman started to feel distant from his beloved iPhone.  He had discovered the iPhone 3G s; a much faster, prettier and skinnier iPhone.  Taking a huge risk, the Gentleman bought this new iPhone 3G s and worked on it for hours to jailbreak it.  He spent several hours talking with AT&T to transfer the account so that he could keep his iPhone 3G s, and not the horrible service.  Miraculously, the software proved easy to jailbreak.  It was love...All over again. 

But what about his original love: iPhone?

Well, this gentleman had a human love as well; a young Lady.  After a little coaxing, this Lady was able to use the iPhone as her own.  This was absolute heaven for her.  The iPhone provided just about everything she could possibly need to function on our technology laden world.  iPhone went everywhere with the young Lady; she checked it more frequently then necessary, but she couldn't resist. 

Of course, there were a few accidents...iPhone fell on the tiles at work; this caused lines across the screen.  The iPhone had an accident with her keys while snowboarding, which caused the glass to break at the bottom..Everytime, she would pick up iPhone and apologize, hoping it would still work for her.  IT wasn't the prettiest iPhone and she knew that...Nonetheless, she kept her iPhone; it was far too dear and important to her to let it go.

After time she noticed that it was getting even more worn, and very slow.  She didn't want to have to give up her iPhone unless it was for something absolutely perfect:  a White iPhone 3G s.  But they were too expensive for her to buy, so she waited...And waited..She was giving up hope.  She didn't want to upgrade to something that would disappoint her, iPhone had made her so happy, she didn't want to sacrifice it.

All the meanwhile, she kept an eye on her iPhone to make sure it kept working properly-though slowly.  A few days after the young Gentleman left town for a 2-week road trip, the phone couldn't take it anymore!  It was too much work to try and process apps that were far beyond the software and hardware in the phone!  The young Lady decided to watch a video from when all of a sudden everything stopped!

She tried to get it to go again, but nothing would move!  The home button did nothing for her, the iPhone was completely unresponsive..

She tried to sync it with her Mac, take some memory off of it; frantically she tried to save her dear iPhone...But it was no use! 

The iPhone had left this world, it went to a better place.  A place, where hardware never wore, software never became old.  A place where iPhone could find many other friends that had been abandoned, or were also too old to keep going. 

Meanwhile, the young Lady was left to her unattractive, not-anywhere-near-as-awesome Blackberry.  She talked with the young Gentleman and they had decided there was nothing to do.  The time had come for iPhone to say good-bye.  "Game over" as the Gentleman would say...

The End

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